What's your communication style?

Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive or assertive? These four styles come from assertiveness training. They are a handy way to look at how we speak up, not a scientific personality type, and everyone uses all four sometimes. Ten everyday situations show which one you reach for most, and how to grow the assertive one.

Just for reflection and learning — not a test or a diagnosis.

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DBT interpersonal skills #part 4 Interpersonal therapy (IPT)

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Common questions

What are the four communication styles?

Passive (holding back your needs), aggressive (pushing your needs over others), passive-aggressive (showing anger indirectly) and assertive (saying what you need clearly while respecting others). It is a teaching framework, not a diagnosis.

What is the healthiest communication style?

Assertive communication is usually the goal: clear, calm and respectful. It is a skill anyone can practice at any age, for example with the DEAR MAN steps from DBT.

How can I be more assertive without being rude?

Use “I” statements, describe the situation without blame, say what you would like, and listen to the answer. Practicing out loud before a hard conversation helps a lot.