What is resilience?

Resilience is the ability to adapt and recover when life gets hard. It is what helps people get through a loss, an illness, a move, a job change or a frightening event, and find their footing again.

Resilience is often pictured as a rare toughness that some people are born with. Research tells a different story. Resilience is common, it is built from ordinary things, and it can grow. It also does not mean you stop hurting. This page explains what resilience is and some common myths about it. It also covers how people tend to respond after loss or trauma, and what the Brief Resilience Scale in our MindCheck measures.

What resilience means

APA describes resilience as both a process and an outcome. It involves being flexible in how you think, feel and act when you face pressures from outside or demands from within.¹ APA names three main influences:¹

• How you see and engage with the world
• How much good social support you have
• The coping skills you use

Experts do not all define resilience in the same way. A panel of leading researchers agreed that most definitions share one idea: healthy, steady functioning over time after something hard happens.³ They also agreed that resilience is shaped at many levels. These include genes, early life, culture, money and the people around you. Resilience can describe families, communities and whole cultures, not only individuals.³

That matters. Resilience is not only about personal grit. It also depends on resources such as safe housing, health care, income and community.³ When people struggle, it is often because the load is heavy, not because they are weak.

"Ordinary magic"

Psychologist Ann Masten reviewed many studies of children growing up with poverty, hardship and other threats. The most surprising finding was how ordinary resilience is. Many children did well despite great risk.²

Masten concluded that resilience usually comes from the normal ways humans adapt, not from extraordinary gifts. The biggest threats are things that damage those everyday protective systems.² She called this "ordinary magic." The same idea fits adults. APA, for example, points to everyday resources such as social support and coping skills.¹

For how this works in childhood and what it means later in life, see Protective factors after childhood adversity.

Common myths about resilience

How people respond after loss or trauma

Psychologist George Bonanno challenged an old belief that doing well after a major loss is rare, or even a sign that something is wrong. He reviewed evidence about people who live through a death or a frightening event. Many keep having positive emotions and show only small, short-lived disruptions in daily life. He argued that this resilience is more common than experts once thought. He also argued that it is different from recovering slowly after a hard fall.⁴

One study followed 205 older adults starting several years before the death of their spouse. Researchers checked on them again 6 and 18 months after the loss. They found five patterns. The resilient pattern, with little lasting disruption, was the most common.^5,11 People in this group did not seem to be denying or avoiding the loss.¹¹

A larger review looked at 54 studies of people after potentially traumatic events. The same four paths showed up again and again:⁶

These are averages. The numbers varied between groups of people and types of events.⁶

It depends on what you measure. Other researchers looked at 421 people in Australia who lost a spouse. They tracked five areas: life satisfaction, bad feelings, good feelings, general health and physical function. About 66% showed resilience in life satisfaction. But only about 8% were resilient in all five areas at once, and about 20% were not resilient in any.⁷ The authors concluded that resilience after losing a spouse is less common than once thought when you look at the whole person.⁷

The strongest predictors of resilience in that study were staying engaged in everyday activities and relationships. Expecting that others would comfort you when upset also helped.⁷

What this means for you. If you are struggling months after a loss or a frightening event, you are not alone, and it is not a sign of weakness. Many people take the recovery path. Others need treatment to get unstuck, and effective treatments exist. See Grief, Prolonged grief disorder and PTSD.

What the Brief Resilience Scale measures

Psychologist Bruce Smith and colleagues created the Brief Resilience Scale (BRS) in 2008. Earlier resilience scales mostly measured the resources that might help a person cope. The BRS was designed to measure the oldest, simplest meaning of resilience: the ability to bounce back or recover from stress.⁸

The BRS has six statements. Three are worded in a positive way, such as recovering quickly after hard times. Three are worded in a negative way, such as having a hard time snapping back. You rate how much you agree with each, and your answers are averaged into a score from 1 to 5. Higher scores mean you tend to recover faster.

The scale was tested in four groups: two groups of college students, people with heart disease and women with fibromyalgia (a long-term pain condition). It was reliable. Higher scores went along with less anxiety, depression, negative feelings and physical symptoms.⁸

A review of 19 resilience scales rated the BRS among the three with the best measurement quality. The reviewers also said that no resilience scale is a "gold standard" yet.¹⁰

What the BRS does not tell you. It shows how quickly you feel you recover. It does not show why, or what supports you have. A lower score is common during heavy seasons of life, and it can change. Try the Bounce-back check on its own, or as part of MindCheck. Then see Building resilience for what helps.

Resilience in later life

Many older adults have already lived through great change and loss, and that experience can be a resource. Some of the key studies of resilience after a spouse's death were done with older adults.^5,11 At the same time, later life can bring many losses close together. For more, see Wellbeing and resilience in later life and Losing a spouse.

Common questions

Is a high resilience score always good?

A high score means you tend to recover quickly, which is a real strength. But it does not mean you should hide pain or skip support. Even resilient people can feel deep pain during big losses, and leaning on others is part of coping well.⁹

Is resilience the same as being positive all the time?

No. Resilience includes facing hard feelings, not pushing them away. APA describes a hopeful outlook as one part of it, along with keeping things in perspective and accepting what you cannot change.⁹

When to get help

APA suggests talking with a licensed mental health professional after a stressful or traumatic event if you cannot function as well as you would like. The same goes if you struggle with basic daily tasks. It also helps to reach out if you feel stuck and are not making progress on your own.⁹

Other reasons to get help:

• Upsetting memories, nightmares or feeling constantly on guard more than a month after a frightening event
• Grief that stays intense and keeps you from daily life many months after a death
• Low mood, hopelessness or loss of interest most days for two weeks or more
• Drinking or using drugs more to cope

See How to find a therapist.

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.