Depression in men

Depression is a common, treatable illness, and it affects men as well as women. But in many men it does not look like sadness. It may look like a short temper, long hours at work, more drinking, or a body that aches for no clear reason.¹

Because of this, depression in men is often missed by the man himself, by his family and even by his doctor. This page explains how it can hide, why men are less likely to get help, why suicide risk matters, and how to start talking about it, whether you are the man or someone who cares about him.

How depression can hide in men

The core signs of depression are the same for everyone (see Signs and symptoms of depression). But many men notice, describe or show it in different ways. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) says men may:¹

• Seem angry or irritable rather than sad
• Talk about body problems (headaches, stomach trouble, back pain, feeling worn out) rather than feelings, and see a doctor for those
• Drink more or use drugs to cope
• Be less likely to notice, name or talk about painful feelings

Other changes that can point to depression include pulling away from family and friends, taking dangerous risks, acting on impulse, neglecting duties, and changes in sexual desire or performance.¹ These are easy to blame on stress, age or "just how he is." When several of them show up together and last for weeks, depression is worth checking.

Anger and irritability

Irritability is a listed symptom of depression.¹ In a man, it may look like snapping at his partner or children, road rage, or arguments over small things. Family members often feel this change first. It can be hard to see the hurt under the anger, both for him and for the people around him.

In a large U.S. survey, men reported more anger and aggression, substance use and risk-taking than women did.² When the researchers counted these signs along with the usual ones, about 31% of men and 33% of women met their measure of depression. That is roughly 1 in 3 for both. The gap that shows up in most surveys mostly disappeared.² This one study does not settle the question, but it suggests that some depression in men is simply being missed.

Work and staying busy

Depression makes it hard to concentrate, remember and make decisions. It also causes tiredness and a slowed-down feeling.¹ At work, this can look like falling behind, making mistakes, or getting short with coworkers.

Some men go the other way and stay busy all the time. Long hours, constant projects or hours in front of a screen can keep painful feelings out of mind for a while. Being busy is not a problem by itself. It becomes a warning sign when it is paired with a short fuse, poor sleep, or pulling away from people.

Alcohol and drugs

NIMH notes that men with depression are more likely to use alcohol or drugs to cope.¹ Drinking may seem to help in the moment, but it can make low mood and sleep worse. Alcohol and drug use is also a risk factor for suicide.⁷ If drinking has crept up, see Alcohol in later life and talk with a doctor.

Aches and pains

Depression can cause aches, headaches and digestive problems that do not get better with the usual treatment.¹ A man may see his doctor again and again for a bad back or an upset stomach without anyone asking about his mood. If tests keep coming back normal, ask the doctor directly whether depression could be part of the picture.

Why many men do not get help

The numbers show a clear gap. In 2019, about 13% of U.S. men got any mental health treatment in the past year, compared with about 25% of women. Men were also much less likely to take medicine for mental health (11% vs 21%) or to see a counselor (7% vs 12%).⁴ Among people with depression in 2021 to 2023, about 1 in 3 men (33%) had seen a mental health professional in the past year, compared with 43% of women.³

NIMH says men may be less likely to recognize depression, talk about it, or ask for help, so it often goes undiagnosed or undertreated.¹ Thoughts like these can get in the way:

Suicide risk in men

Suicide is a serious risk in depression, and the numbers for men are sobering. In 2023, 49,316 people in the United States died by suicide.⁵ Men make up about half of the population but nearly 4 in 5 of these deaths.⁶ The suicide rate for men is nearly four times the rate for women.⁵

Among men, the rate is highest in those 75 and older, at about 41 deaths per 100,000 men per year.⁵ Known risk factors include serious illness or chronic pain, losing a close relationship, social isolation, job loss and money problems.⁷ Several of these, such as illness, losing a spouse and living alone, become more common in later life. For more on later life, see Depression in later life and Retirement and mental health.

Suicide is rarely caused by one thing.⁷ It is also preventable. Treatment, support from family and friends, a sense of connection, and good health care all protect against it.⁷

Making home safer

Putting time and distance between a person in crisis and the means to harm himself saves lives. CDC says that keeping firearms or medicines out of sight is not enough. They should be locked up, for example in a gun safe or lock box.⁸ A safety plan can include these steps, along with people to call and reasons for living.

How to start talking

If you are the man who is struggling

You do not need to have the right words. Pick one small step:

1. Check in with yourself. Take the short mood check-in. It asks about the last two weeks and can help you put words to what is going on.
2. Tell your doctor. Start with what you notice in your body: poor sleep, low energy, aches, a short temper. Then say, "I've been wondering if this could be depression." Your primary care doctor can screen you and rule out other causes. See Getting checked for depression.
3. Tell one person. A partner, brother, friend, faith leader or old coworker. You can keep it simple: "I haven't been myself lately."
4. Look at your drinking. If you are drinking more to get through the day, say so to your doctor. It matters for treatment.
5. Ask about options. Therapy, medicine or both can help. See Treatment for depression and Starting therapy.

If you are worried about a man in your life

Many men find it easier to talk side by side than face to face. A drive, a walk, fishing or working on a project together can make a hard talk feel less like an interview.

For more, see Helping someone with depression and How to start a conversation about mental health.

Treatment works for men too

Depression in men is treated with the same proven options used for anyone else.¹

Do not stop or change a medicine on your own. Talk with your doctor or pharmacist before changing anything. If the first treatment does not help enough, there are other options. See When depression doesn't get better.

When to get help

• Make a doctor's appointment if low mood, irritability, loss of interest, poor sleep or unexplained aches last two weeks or more, or if drinking has increased.
• Call or text 988 if you or a man you care about is thinking about suicide, feels hopeless, or feels like a burden.
• Call 911 if someone is in immediate danger or has hurt himself.

You can find more ways to get support on the Get help page.

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.