Working while caregiving

Many people caring for someone with dementia also hold a job. You may get calls from home during work, need time off for doctor visits, or worry about what happens while you are gone.

You do not have to choose between your job and your loved one right away. Federal law gives many workers unpaid, job-protected leave, and many employers offer more help than workers know about. This page explains your rights, what to ask for, and how to build a plan.

How caregiving can affect your job

Nearly 13 million Americans give unpaid care to someone living with dementia. About two in three of them are women, and about one in four is also raising a child.⁸ Dementia care tends to grow over time. A few rides to appointments can turn into daily help with meals, medicines and safety.

Caregiving can mean coming in late, leaving early or using up vacation days. Half of family caregivers say caregiving has hurt them financially, and about one in four has taken on debt.⁹ Planning early, before a crisis, gives you more choices.

Your rights under the FMLA

The FMLA is a federal law. It does not pay you, but it protects your job and your health insurance while you take time off to care for family.¹

Who qualifies

You and your employer both must meet certain rules.¹

Who you can care for

The FMLA covers care for your spouse, your child and your parent.¹ "Parent" includes a biological, adoptive, step or foster parent. It also includes someone who raised you as a parent when you were a child, even without a legal tie.²

The FMLA does not cover a parent-in-law, a grandparent or a sibling.^1,2 If you care for your spouse's mother, for example, ask whether your employer's own leave policy covers it.

What counts as "caring for" someone

Dementia is a long-lasting illness, and it often meets the FMLA's meaning of a serious health condition. Your employer may ask a doctor to confirm this.^1,2 Care under the FMLA is broad. It can include:^2,3

• Help with basic needs like eating, bathing, safety and medicines
• Driving your parent or spouse to doctor visits or treatments when they cannot get there on their own
• Comfort and reassurance, for example during a hospital stay
• Filling in when the usual caregiver, such as a sibling or a home aide, is not available
• Arranging a change in care, such as a move to a nursing home

You do not have to be the only family member who could help.³

Taking leave in small pieces

You do not have to take all 12 weeks at once. When it is medically needed, you can take leave in separate blocks, or work fewer hours each day or week.¹ This is called intermittent or reduced-schedule leave. It also applies when you are needed only at certain times, such as when you share care with others.³

For example, you might take Tuesday afternoons for appointments, or work four days a week while a parent settles into adult day care.

Pay, benefits and coming back

FMLA leave is unpaid. You may be able to use your paid vacation or sick days during the leave, and some employers require it.¹ Your group health insurance must continue on the same terms while you are out. When you return, you must get the same job or an equal one, with the same pay and benefits.¹ Your employer may not punish you for asking for or using FMLA leave.¹

How to ask for FMLA leave

1. Tell your employer early. Give notice as soon as you can. If the need is sudden, tell them as soon as it is practical.¹
2. Explain the reason. You do not have to say the word "FMLA." Give enough facts for your employer to see the leave might qualify, such as "My mother has dementia and needs me to take her to treatments."¹
3. Get the doctor's form filled out. Your employer may ask for a certification from your family member's doctor. You must get at least 15 calendar days to return it.¹ Ask the doctor's office early, since forms can take time.
4. Keep copies. Save emails, forms and dates. Note any leave you take in a calendar or notebook.
5. Ask for help if you are refused. Call the U.S. Department of Labor's Wage and Hour Division at 1-866-487-9243.⁴

Virginia leave rules

Virginia's paid sick leave law is narrow. As of October 2026, it covers only home health workers who give personal care, respite or companion services to people in Virginia Medicaid's consumer-directed program. They must average at least 20 hours a week or 90 hours a month.⁵

If you are paid through that Medicaid program to care for a relative, you may fall under this law. It uses a broad meaning of family. It includes in-laws, grandparents, siblings and anyone you are responsible for caring for.⁵ See Medicaid and long-term care for more on Virginia's programs.

For most other workers in Virginia, the federal FMLA and your employer's own policies are what you can count on. The Department of Labor suggests checking with your state labor office, since state laws can add protections and can change.⁴ Workers in other states should look up their own state's rules. Some states have paid family leave programs.

Can I be treated unfairly because I am a caregiver?

Being a caregiver is not, by itself, a protected status under federal job laws. But some laws still help.⁷

• The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) forbids treating you worse because a family member has a disability.⁶ For example, if your employer gives other workers unpaid time off for personal reasons, it cannot refuse the same time to you because the reason is caring for a parent.⁶
• The ADA does not require your employer to change your schedule or rules for caregiving. Those changes, called reasonable accommodations, are only for workers who have a disability themselves.⁶
• Sex discrimination laws can apply if an employer treats caregivers differently based on stereotypes, such as assuming women caregivers are less committed or denying leave to men that it gives to women.⁷

If you think you were treated unfairly, write down what happened and when. Talk with human resources, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or an employment lawyer.

Employer programs to ask about

Many workplaces offer help that is not well known. Ask your human resources office or read your benefits handbook. Employers have used many of these ideas:⁷

Many employers also offer an employee assistance program (EAP). It is usually a free, private service with short-term counseling and help finding local care.

Dependent care benefits

Some employers offer a dependent care account, a benefit that lets you pay for care with money taken out of your paycheck before taxes. The federal child and dependent care tax credit may also help.¹⁰

Both can apply to care for an adult, not just children. The person usually must be your spouse or dependent, be unable to care for themselves, and live with you for more than half the year.¹⁰ Paying an adult day center so you can work can count.¹⁰ Rules and limits change, so check with a tax preparer. See tax help for caregivers for more.

Building a plan that works

1. Write down your week. List your work hours and every care task. Note where they clash.
2. Fill your work hours with other care. Look at adult day care, in-home care and respite care. Ask about hours that match your workday.
3. Share the load. Hold a family meeting and divide tasks. A shared list in the care circle tool helps everyone see who does what.
4. Use technology. Automatic pill dispensers, video calls and GPS devices can make the hours apart safer. See technology that helps.
5. Have a backup plan. Know who to call if the aide calls in sick or the day center closes for snow.
6. Talk with your manager. Explain what you need in plain terms and suggest a solution, such as a new start time. Put any agreement in writing.

Free local help is available. The National Family Caregiver Support Program funds information, counseling, support groups, training and respite for family caregivers of people with Alzheimer's or related dementias, at any age.¹¹ To find your local Area Agency on Aging, use the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov.¹² You can also look into caregiver training programs. Veterans and their families can check VA benefits for dementia.

If you live far away from the person, see long-distance caregiving. If you also care for children, see caring for parents and children at once.

Before you cut back or quit

Leaving a job or cutting hours is sometimes right, but it has long-term effects. Try not to decide in the middle of a crisis.

A talk with a financial planner, an elder law attorney or your employer's benefits office can help you see the full picture.

Take care of yourself, too

Juggling work and care is tiring. Watch for signs that you are running on empty, such as poor sleep, getting sick often, short temper or feeling hopeless. See caregiver stress and burnout for ideas that help, and setting boundaries for ways to say no without guilt.

Common questions

Can I use FMLA leave to care for my mother-in-law?

No. The FMLA covers only your own parent, spouse or child.² But your spouse may be able to take FMLA leave to care for their own parent. Your employer's leave policy may also be more generous, so ask.

I work part-time. Am I covered?

Possibly. You need at least 1,250 hours of work in the past 12 months, which is about 24 hours a week. You also need 12 months with the employer, and your employer must meet the size rule.¹

Can I use FMLA for a few hours at a time?

Yes, when it is medically needed or when you are needed only at certain times.^1,3 For example, you can take a few hours to bring your parent to a memory clinic visit.

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.