Pregnancy, new parents and mood, including fathers and partners

Having a baby is one of the biggest changes a person can go through. Alongside joy, there are sleepless nights, new worries, money pressure and changes in your body, relationship and sense of self. It is common to feel overwhelmed.

For some parents, the low mood or worry does not pass. Perinatal depression (depression during pregnancy or in the year after birth) is common and treatable. It can affect mothers, and it can affect fathers and partners too. This guide explains the signs, why it happens, how to lower the risk, and where to get help fast.

Baby blues or depression?

Many new mothers have the baby blues in the first days after birth. They may feel weepy, worried, moody and tired. These feelings are mild and usually fade within days, and by about two weeks after birth.^1,3

Postpartum depression is stronger and lasts longer. It usually does not go away without treatment.³ Most episodes start within 4 to 8 weeks after birth, but depression can also start during pregnancy.³

Signs to watch for

Signs of perinatal depression can include:^1,3

• Feeling sad, anxious or "empty" most of the day
• Crying more than usual, or feeling numb
• Anger or irritability
• Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
• Feeling hopeless, guilty or worthless
• Feeling distant from your baby or having trouble bonding
• Doubting you can care for your baby
• Low energy and changes in sleep or appetite beyond what the baby causes
• Thoughts of death, of harming yourself or of harming the baby

In some fathers and partners, depression can show up as irritability, anger, pulling away, working more, drinking more or feeling like an outsider at home. See depression in men.

You can check your mood with the wellbeing check or the depression test. Bring the results to your doctor, midwife or your baby's doctor.

How common it is

• Mothers: About 1 in 8 women with a recent birth report postpartum depression symptoms.¹ The CDC also found that depression recorded in hospital at the time of delivery was seven times more common in 2015 than in 2000.¹
• Fathers: A review of 47 studies with more than 20,000 fathers found about 9.8% had depression during pregnancy and 8.8% in the first year after birth. Rates were highest in the first trimester, at about 13.6%.²
• All parents: In 2023, 48% of US parents said their stress was completely overwhelming most days, compared with 26% of other adults.⁸

Why it happens

There is no single cause. Perinatal depression comes from a mix of factors:³

• Body changes. Large hormone shifts during pregnancy and after birth
• Genes and history. A personal or family history of depression or bipolar disorder, or depression in a past pregnancy
• Stress. Lack of sleep, the demands of caring for a newborn, money worries and life changes
• Support. Having little or no support raises the risk.¹

The USPSTF lists other factors that raise risk, including a history of abuse, an unplanned pregnancy, stressful life events, diabetes, pregnancy complications such as preterm birth or pregnancy loss, low income and lack of support.⁴

How it affects parents and babies

Untreated depression can make it harder to sleep, eat, bond with your baby and care for yourself. Most seriously, mental health conditions, including suicide and overdose, were the leading underlying cause of pregnancy-related deaths in the US in 2017 to 2019 (about 23%). These deaths happened during pregnancy and up to a year after. More than 80% of all pregnancy-related deaths were judged preventable.⁶ That is why getting help early matters.

What helps

Practical steps for expecting and new parents

1. Tell your care team how you feel. Your doctor, midwife and your baby's doctor can all check for depression. Say it plainly: "I have not felt like myself for weeks."
2. Know your risk. If you have had depression before, tell your doctor early in pregnancy. Ask about counseling to prevent it.⁴
3. Make a support plan before the birth. List who can help with meals, errands, older children or pets, and who you can call at 3 a.m.
4. Protect sleep in shifts. Take turns with night feeds if you can, so each parent gets a longer block of sleep.
5. Lower the bar. Let chores slide. Feeding, resting and bonding come first.
6. Get outside and move a little each day, even for 10 minutes.
7. Connect with other parents. Parent groups, online or in person, can ease the sense of being alone. See support groups.
8. Partners: check on yourselves too. Fathers and partners can get depressed. Notice your own mood, sleep and drinking.

For partners, family and friends

• Take signs seriously. Do not brush off ongoing sadness as "just hormones" or "just tired."
• Do the practical things. Cook, clean, hold the baby so the parent can sleep or shower, and handle visitors.
• Encourage care. Offer to help make the appointment or to go along.
• Watch the partner too. The parent who did not give birth can also become depressed, and may hide it.
• Know the emergency signs listed below, and act quickly if you see them.

Special situations

Postpartum psychosis. This is rare but serious. Signs include seeing or hearing things that are not there, strange beliefs, paranoia, confusion, or extreme energy and little need for sleep. It is a medical emergency. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room right away.³

Bipolar disorder. A personal or family history of bipolar disorder raises the risk of perinatal mood problems.³ Tell your doctor before or early in pregnancy. See bipolar disorder.

Pregnancy loss and fertility problems. Miscarriage, stillbirth and infertility can bring deep grief and depression. Pregnancy loss is among the USPSTF's risk factors.⁴ See grief.

Partner violence. Recent violence by a partner raises the risk of perinatal depression.⁵ See relationships and abuse.

Money and child care costs. Financial strain adds pressure. See money and housing stress.

Common questions

Can fathers get postpartum depression?

Yes. About 1 in 10 fathers have depression during pregnancy or the first year after birth.² It often looks like irritability, withdrawal or drinking more. Fathers can get the same effective treatments.

Will I lose my baby if I say I am depressed?

Telling your care team you are struggling is the first step to getting better. Depression is common and treatable, and health workers want to help you and your baby do well.

Can I take antidepressants while breastfeeding?

Many people do, but the choice depends on your health and the medicine. Talk with your doctor about the benefits and risks for you and your baby.³

Is it normal to have scary thoughts about my baby?

Unwanted, upsetting thoughts can happen to new parents. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, tell a doctor right away. Thoughts like these need immediate attention.³

When to get help

Talk to your doctor or midwife soon if:

• Low mood, worry or numbness lasts more than two weeks
• You feel disconnected from your baby
• You cannot sleep even when the baby sleeps
• You are drinking or using drugs to cope
• Your partner or family is worried about you

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.