Bullying and cyberbullying in the teen years

Bullying is not just "kids being kids." It is repeated, unwanted aggression by someone who has more power, whether that power comes from size, popularity, or numbers. It can happen in a hallway, a group chat, a game, or a comment section. It can follow a teen home and keep going at 2 a.m.

The good news is that bullying can be stopped, and the harm can heal. This guide explains what bullying looks like, why it hurts so much, and what teens, friends, parents and schools can do.

What bullying looks like

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines bullying as unwanted aggressive behavior by another young person or group (not a sibling or dating partner) that involves a real or perceived power imbalance and is repeated or likely to be repeated.¹

It comes in several forms:¹

• Physical: hitting, pushing, tripping, damaging belongings
• Verbal: name-calling, threats, mocking someone's looks, race, religion, disability or sexuality
• Social or relational: leaving someone out on purpose, spreading rumors, turning friends against someone
• Cyberbullying: any of these through phones, social media, messaging apps, gaming or forums

Cyberbullying has some special features. It can be constant, because devices are always on. It can be permanent and public unless it is reported and removed. And parents and teachers may not see it.⁶

Signs a teen may be bullied

• Not wanting to go to school, or frequent stomachaches and headaches on school days
• Lost or damaged belongings, or unexplained injuries
• Sudden changes in friends, or eating alone
• Seeming upset after using a phone or computer, or suddenly avoiding devices
• Trouble sleeping, falling grades, or loss of interest in activities
• Saying things like "No one likes me" or "It doesn't matter anyway"

How common is it?

In CDC's 2023 survey, 19% of U.S. high school students had been bullied at school in the past year and 16% had been bullied electronically.² Girls were more likely than boys to be bullied, both at school and online.¹ LGBTQ+ students were especially affected: nearly 3 in 10 had been bullied at school.² About 13% of students had skipped school at least once in the past month because they felt unsafe.²

Bullying is common worldwide. Across OECD countries (mostly wealthier nations), about 1 in 5 15-year-olds reported being bullied a few times a month or more in 2022.⁷

Why it hurts so much

The teen years are a time when friendships and fitting in feel huge. Being singled out or shut out can feel like a threat to everything. Bullying also tends to be repeated, so the stress builds instead of passing. Online, a cruel post can be seen and shared by hundreds of people.

How bullying affects mental health

A large review of 165 studies found that young people who were bullied had about twice the odds of depression and higher odds of anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts.³ Bullying is also linked to poor sleep, lower grades and dropping out of school.¹ The World Health Organization lists bullying as one of the key risks for teen mental health worldwide.⁸

Bullying harms more than the target:¹

• Teens who bully others are at higher risk of substance use, school problems and later violence.
• Teens who both bully and are bullied face the most serious problems.
• Bystanders who witness bullying are affected too.

If you have been bullied and now feel anxious around people, see social anxiety. The teen anxiety test and the depression check can help you see how you are doing.

What helps

If it's happening to you

1. Know it is not your fault. Bullying says something about the person doing it, not about you.
2. Stay as safe as you can. Walk with friends, stay near adults, and avoid places where it happens, if possible. You do not have to fight back.
3. Save the evidence. Take screenshots of messages, posts and usernames with dates. Write down what happened in person, when and who saw it.⁹
4. Block and report. Block the person and report the content to the app, game or platform.⁹
5. Tell a trusted adult. A parent, teacher, counselor, coach or relative. If the first person does not help, tell another.
6. Lean on your people. Spend time with friends, family or groups where you feel accepted. See identity and belonging.
7. Take care of your body and mind. Sleep, movement and calming skills like the cyclic sigh can help you cope with stress while the problem gets solved.

If it's happening to a friend

• Don't join in and don't share or like hurtful posts.⁵
• Speak up if it feels safe. A simple "Not cool, stop" can work.
• Check in privately. "I saw what happened. Are you okay?"
• Help them tell an adult, or tell one yourself.
• If your friend talks about hurting themselves, tell a trusted adult right away, even if they asked you to keep it secret. See staying safe.

For parents and caregivers

• Stay calm and listen. Thank your teen for telling you. Avoid blaming them or saying "Just ignore it."
• Get the facts. Write down what happened and save screenshots.
• Contact the school. Start with the teacher or counselor, then the principal if needed. Ask what the school will do and when you will hear back.⁹
• Don't contact the other family directly in anger. Let the school help.
• Watch for changes in mood, sleep, eating or school attendance over the following weeks.
• Stay involved with your teen's online life, set rules together, and report cyberbullying and abuse.⁵
• If your teen is the one bullying, take it seriously. Find out what is going on, set clear consequences, and teach empathy and repair. Teens who bully are at risk too.¹

See our guide for parents and starting the conversation.

Special situations

LGBTQ+ teens are bullied at higher rates.² Supportive friends, clubs and adults are especially important. See identity and belonging.

Teens with disabilities may be targeted because of how they look, move or communicate. In the U.S., schools must address harassment based on disability, race, color, national origin, sex or religion. If a school does not act, families can contact the state education department or federal civil rights offices.⁹

Bullying based on race or religion can carry extra layers of harm. It deserves the same quick response, and the same civil rights protections apply.⁹

Threats, violence and crimes go beyond bullying. If someone is at immediate risk of harm or a crime has happened, call the police.⁹ Sharing sexual images of anyone under 18 is a serious matter; tell a trusted adult right away.

Common questions

Should I fight back?

No. Fighting back can get you hurt or in trouble. Walking away, staying near others, and telling an adult are safer choices.

What if telling an adult makes it worse?

That is a common fear. Ask the adult to help make a plan with you before anything happens, and to keep you informed. You can also ask whether your name can be kept private.

Is teasing between friends bullying?

Not if both people are laughing and either one can say stop. It becomes bullying when it is one-sided, repeated, and the person on the receiving end feels hurt or powerless.¹

Will bullying affect me forever?

It can leave a mark, but many people recover well with support. If memories keep coming back or you still feel unsafe, talking with a counselor can help.

When to get help

Get help from a doctor, counselor or therapist if a teen who has been bullied:

• Is afraid to go to school or skips school
• Seems sad, anxious or withdrawn for more than two weeks
• Has trouble sleeping or eating
• Talks about feeling hopeless, worthless or like a burden

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.