Caregiver burnout

Caring for someone you love can give life deep meaning. It can also wear you down, a little at a time, until you feel empty. That slow wearing down is what people call caregiver burnout.

You are far from alone. About 63 million Americans, roughly 1 in 4 adults, now care for a family member or friend. More than 4 in 10 give intense, hands-on care. About 1 in 5 say their own health is poor.¹ This page helps you notice the warning signs early and find real help, so you can keep caring without losing yourself.

What is caregiver burnout?

"Burnout" is not a formal medical diagnosis. The World Health Organization uses the word only for long-term job stress that is not managed well. It describes three parts: running out of energy, feeling distant or negative, and feeling you are no longer doing a good job.³

Caregivers often feel all three, even though caregiving is not a paid job. You may be on call day and night. You may handle medicines, money, doctor visits and personal care, often with little training.¹ When the demands go on for months or years with no real rest, stress can turn into burnout.

Burnout is not weakness or a lack of love. It is a natural result of carrying too much for too long without enough support. For a wider look at the topic, see stress and burnout and burnout.

Signs of caregiver burnout

Burnout often creeps in. Watch for changes in how you feel, think and act.^2,4

Stress and depression can look alike. Depression is more than a hard week. Signs include feeling worthless or guilty, losing pleasure in most things, changes in appetite and weight, and thoughts of death. The good news is that depression is treatable.⁵ Learn more on our depression pages.

A quick self-check

This is not a medical test. It is a way to pause and look at how you are doing. Think about the past month.

1. Do I feel tired most of the time, even after sleep?
2. Do I snap at the person I care for, or at others, more than I used to?
3. Have I stopped seeing friends or doing things I enjoy?
4. Have I skipped my own checkups, medicines or meals?
5. Do I feel I have no one to turn to for help?
6. Do I feel trapped, hopeless or guilty much of the time?
7. Am I using alcohol, sleep aids or other drugs to get through the day?
8. Has my health gotten worse since I started caregiving?

If you said yes to several, you may be under heavy strain. Now is a good time to add support, before things get worse. If you said yes to many, or to number 6 or 7, please talk with your doctor soon.

You can also use our check-in to look at mood and anxiety. Then bring the results to your doctor. Tell your doctor that you are a caregiver. It helps them understand your health.²

Take breaks: respite care

Respite care means someone else takes over care for a while so you can rest. It can last a few hours or several weeks.⁶ Breaks are not a luxury. They help you keep going.

Common types of respite include:⁶

• In-home help. A relative, friend, volunteer or paid aide stays with the person at home.
• Adult day programs. The person spends the day at a center with activities, meals and supervision. See adult day care.
• Short stays. The person stays for a few days or weeks in a care setting, such as a nursing facility.

Paying for respite

Help from friends, relatives and volunteers may cost nothing. Paid services usually charge by the hour, day or week. Most private health insurance does not pay for respite. Some long-term care insurance policies and Medicaid programs may help.⁶

Other places to look:

• Medicare hospice. If the person is in hospice, Medicare covers most of the cost of up to five days in a row of respite in a hospital or nursing facility.⁶
• Medicare GUIDE program. For people with dementia, this program can pay up to $2,500 a year for respite for those who qualify. It also offers caregiver training and support.⁹
• Veterans. The VA Caregiver Support Program offers training, coaching, peer support and, for some families, respite and a monthly stipend. Call the VA Caregiver Support Line at 1-855-260-3274, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern.¹⁰
• Older Americans Act programs. The National Family Caregiver Support Program funds counseling, support groups, training and respite. It serves caregivers of people 60 and older, and of people of any age with Alzheimer's or a related condition.⁷

To find local programs, call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116. It connects you with your local Area Agency on Aging.⁸

For a full guide, including how to use respite without guilt, see respite care.

Talk to someone: counseling and support

Talking with a trained counselor can help you sort out guilt, grief, anger and worry. It can also help you solve practical problems. If you feel anxious, frustrated or depressed, ask your doctor for a referral.²

Ways to get support:

• Counseling. Medicare Part B covers therapy with many licensed professionals. This includes psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists, and mental health counselors. You usually pay 20% after the deductible.¹² See finding a therapist and paying for therapy.
• Support groups. Meeting others in the same situation can ease loneliness and give you practical tips. Groups meet in person, by phone and online. See support groups.
• Dementia caregivers. The Alzheimer's Association Helpline is free and open 24 hours a day at 1-800-272-3900. It offers interpreters in more than 200 languages and free care consultations to help you build a plan.¹³
• Skills you can learn. Short courses in problem-solving therapy and CBT teach tools you can use on hard days.

Set boundaries and share the load

Many caregivers try to do everything alone. Setting limits protects your health and often makes care better and safer.

It is all right to say no to new demands. It is all right to protect one evening a week for yourself. Guilt is common, but taking care of yourself is part of caring for someone else. Read more in setting boundaries as a caregiver and sharing care with siblings and family.

Look after your own health

Small, steady habits make a difference:²

• Move your body. Even a short walk counts. Gentle practices like tai chi can help both body and mind.
• Eat regular meals and drink enough water.
• Protect your sleep. Most adults need 7 to 9 hours. Keep a regular bedtime when you can. See healthy sleep habits.
• Calm your body. Try a few minutes of slow breathing or a body scan during the day.
• Keep your own appointments. Do not put off your own checkups, tests or medicines.
• Do one thing just for you each week that has nothing to do with caregiving.

Is it selfish to take time for myself?

No. When you are rested, you have more patience and energy. Caregivers who neglect their own health face higher risks to their body and mind.² A break helps both of you.

What if the person I care for refuses outside help?

This is common. Start small, such as a helper for one afternoon. Present it as help for you, not for them. A doctor or social worker can sometimes help explain why it matters.

I am older myself. Does that change anything?

Many caregivers are older spouses with their own health problems. Physical tasks like lifting can be harder and riskier. Tell your doctor about your caregiving. Ask whether caregiver training could help. Medicare Part B can cover training for caregivers when a provider decides it is part of the patient's treatment plan.¹⁴ See caring for a spouse with dementia.

I care for my parents and my kids at the same time. Where do I start?

Nearly 3 in 10 caregivers support both children and adults.¹ See caring for parents and children at once for ideas on time, money and guilt.

Where to go next

• Back to the caregivers section
• Caregiver stress and burnout in dementia
• Caregiver training and support programs
• Working while caregiving
• Coping skills that work
• Find help now

Education only. This page is general information written from the sources listed. It is not medical, legal or financial advice and does not replace a doctor, therapist or lawyer who knows your situation. How we write and check pages.